Glorious Boys!!

It's been a while, yes I know. For all of those who love their updates about Coen, let me tell you it is a miracle that I am still breathing. For those at the mom and tots last week you will completely understand what I mean by this. For those who missed the show I can assure you we will not be returning for a rerun. The whole "same time, same station" does NOT apply to the situation that I am about to walk you through.

It all began on an amazingly sunny day. The kids refused to be cooped up and I was completely in agreement. So we packed up the carseats, sunscreen, misquito repellent, water, teddy grahams and diapers. That is a typical packing list for most parents. Most parents would probably even say that though they pile all that into a reuseable grocery bag they may only use three things. I mean with a two year old and a one year old what in heavens name could go wrong right!

So we arrive to the playground and we are having the time of our lives! I dare say I even got to sit down and visit with some of the other moms. I could see Coen's blonde little head darting out of equipment and I can see my niece playing contently in front of me on the baby slide. Well, time goes on and I am playing with my niece, and I realize I haven't seen Coen for a couple of minutes. So I yell "Coen let me see your eyes!" (side note: Moms have you ever realized that when you yell for your kids and you hear your own voice it sounds like nails on a chalkboard? Mine does. I swear it.) I wait....and wait....no little eyes. So I scoop up Amelia and we go hunting. I'm not nervous. I'm sure many of you are dialing Child Services as you read due to the bone chilling fact that I didn't break out in a full out run. But everything was gated in. I promise! So calm those heart rates. I finally see him. My blonde little monster jumping as hard as he can in a puddle of mud. His shoes are COVERED!! his once white socks are very much brown. So I take them off and we walk back to the park. I am laughing so hard I can't even talk. Part of me is so proud of him for getting muddy and being such a boy, the other part is thinking how the heck to I get these shoes clean!

So now he is running around bare foot and having the time of his life. I took wipes and washed his legs down and his shoes are drying in the sun. I am just getting settled down, when I hear a SPLOOSH! Coen is crying and saying "BIG MESS MAMA!!" In literally two seconds he had ran down a hill, slipped, and slid right into the biggest mud puddle I have seen. He has grass in his ears, nose, mouth, and his shirt is soaked. So remember that list I wrote out, what mom in their right mind would think I need to pack an extra pair of shoes, clothes and an IGA bag?? Well one mom thought to bring a bag, so I stripped him down and we kept playing in just his shorts. I think a few boys were jealous. But am 100% sure that no mom was!!

*for those of you that are wondering...oxyclean is amazing!! Shoes look brand new! A little tight, but brand new! The same can also be said about the clothes!!

I Have a Two Year Old!!

I realize that I have had a two year old for quite some time now... 5 months to be exact....but for some reason we have had the wonderful privilege of having a two year old with out too many fits, no real accidents, and really it just felt like he was another number older. This week however, the terrible twos hit us right in the face. You know those Home Videos where the pie ends up in the unsuspecting man's face? Yeah that was the twos for us.

It all began with the infamous Buzz Bike. Aaron got it for him for Christmas, and he rides it around and around the house. Well he decided to explore the very small rectangle of area that was by our stairs....went to back out... and well the rest is history. It was quite a tumble, and Aaron and I were both sure it was a trip to the ER, but when we got him, all he had was a bump on his head and was mad that his bike was downstairs. I honestly started wondering if my child was actually a tank. I am sure any other kid that would have tumbled like that would not have had the same fortunate outcome.

Next came the trip to the ER because of an overworried parent. Before bed, I'm sure I've mentioned this, Coen runs laps. We don't know why or how it became part of the routine. If you have any ideas please enlighten me! But anyways, the laps began and we were catching up on some down time, when Coen tripped. It was EXACTLY like in the movies. Aaron and I both swear if we would have moved a second sooner we could have caught him. In reality we probably didn't have a hope. But it was like he fell in slow motion. He caught the corner of the wall and after an eternity of checking every square inch of him we both came to the conclusion all was well. I held him for his night time cuddles, and then I felt it. Right against my cheek was the Biggest bump I swear I've ever seen. Because of my past history with running into things or as any Allegiance members can testify, hitting myself in the head...( another story for another day) I knew that the last time I had a bump like that, I was getting woke up every so often because I think I had a concussion. So I freaked out and Aaron freaked out. We whisked our boy up and into the car and took off to the ER. Well after we crossed WhoopUp bridge, our clumsy little boy began making jokes and laughing in the mirror and all sorts of things. We both looked at each other and thought " Is it worth it?" But I just needed a certified person ( not that my husband's opinion wasn't comforting and that he isn't smart because he is wonderful and he does know what he's talking about but I was freaking out. okay!) to tell me that all was well. The triage nurse was awesome, looked at it, told us what to look for, and we were on our way with no worries or a wait time ( Like i said the nurse was awesome!)

Now is the best one of all. My wonderful two year old locked himself in his room! We put him in his bedroom to sleep and shut the door. Well an hour later after we SWORE he was asleep we hear his "Cop Knock" as we call it. ( I swear I have no clue how such little hands can bang on a door that hard!) We went downstairs to get him only to find that he had locked the door. For many this isn't a big deal. But living in a place where there used to be two guys that were roommates made the task a little different. You see, they had put key locks on the door. No little hole that I had mastered to embarrass or hurry my brother up. Nope. Just a key. Did we have the key... Nope. Did the landlord have the key... .nope. So after trying bobby pins, credit cards ( all of which are total myths) we had no success. Everyone we called told us there was a button just behind the lock that would answer our prayers. Well we couldn't find that button to save our lives. This whole time Coen is laughing and trying to play peekaboo with us. Yeah. I know. So Aaron finally took a his hammer and "SMASHED IT WITH A HAMMER!" (oh I love emperors new groove) The door knob came off easily and we saw that this infamous button everyone told us was actually a turning piece of metal. No miracle button. We opened the door and our two year old monster greeted us with open arms. Man oh man I hate the two stage.

Finally is the vocabulary. Nothing is safe. I have been known for telling my son too bad. Too bad Coen this and Too bad Coen that. Well I was getting after him for not listening and after his Corner failed miserably ( He just kept talking to himself) I put him on the last resort. The Kitchen Chair. He sat for a second and slid off. I responded with something along the lines of "Coen get that little butt back up there or so help me..." ( I know parent of the year right?) to which he responded " Nope mama. Too Bad." and slid off again. Now in his defence, I am still not sure if he actually was trying to be a brat from hadesville. I think he was telling me he had been too bad. (I am very optomistic that my son is not related to the devil) But regardless. I could not help but giggle and the discipline went out the window. Curses.

And that is our two year old adventures thus far! Stay tooned.