Tuesday, June 7, 2011

I Have a Two Year Old!!

I realize that I have had a two year old for quite some time now... 5 months to be exact....but for some reason we have had the wonderful privilege of having a two year old with out too many fits, no real accidents, and really it just felt like he was another number older. This week however, the terrible twos hit us right in the face. You know those Home Videos where the pie ends up in the unsuspecting man's face? Yeah that was the twos for us.

It all began with the infamous Buzz Bike. Aaron got it for him for Christmas, and he rides it around and around the house. Well he decided to explore the very small rectangle of area that was by our stairs....went to back out... and well the rest is history. It was quite a tumble, and Aaron and I were both sure it was a trip to the ER, but when we got him, all he had was a bump on his head and was mad that his bike was downstairs. I honestly started wondering if my child was actually a tank. I am sure any other kid that would have tumbled like that would not have had the same fortunate outcome.

Next came the trip to the ER because of an overworried parent. Before bed, I'm sure I've mentioned this, Coen runs laps. We don't know why or how it became part of the routine. If you have any ideas please enlighten me! But anyways, the laps began and we were catching up on some down time, when Coen tripped. It was EXACTLY like in the movies. Aaron and I both swear if we would have moved a second sooner we could have caught him. In reality we probably didn't have a hope. But it was like he fell in slow motion. He caught the corner of the wall and after an eternity of checking every square inch of him we both came to the conclusion all was well. I held him for his night time cuddles, and then I felt it. Right against my cheek was the Biggest bump I swear I've ever seen. Because of my past history with running into things or as any Allegiance members can testify, hitting myself in the head...( another story for another day) I knew that the last time I had a bump like that, I was getting woke up every so often because I think I had a concussion. So I freaked out and Aaron freaked out. We whisked our boy up and into the car and took off to the ER. Well after we crossed WhoopUp bridge, our clumsy little boy began making jokes and laughing in the mirror and all sorts of things. We both looked at each other and thought " Is it worth it?" But I just needed a certified person ( not that my husband's opinion wasn't comforting and that he isn't smart because he is wonderful and he does know what he's talking about but I was freaking out. okay!) to tell me that all was well. The triage nurse was awesome, looked at it, told us what to look for, and we were on our way with no worries or a wait time ( Like i said the nurse was awesome!)

Now is the best one of all. My wonderful two year old locked himself in his room! We put him in his bedroom to sleep and shut the door. Well an hour later after we SWORE he was asleep we hear his "Cop Knock" as we call it. ( I swear I have no clue how such little hands can bang on a door that hard!) We went downstairs to get him only to find that he had locked the door. For many this isn't a big deal. But living in a place where there used to be two guys that were roommates made the task a little different. You see, they had put key locks on the door. No little hole that I had mastered to embarrass or hurry my brother up. Nope. Just a key. Did we have the key... Nope. Did the landlord have the key... .nope. So after trying bobby pins, credit cards ( all of which are total myths) we had no success. Everyone we called told us there was a button just behind the lock that would answer our prayers. Well we couldn't find that button to save our lives. This whole time Coen is laughing and trying to play peekaboo with us. Yeah. I know. So Aaron finally took a his hammer and "SMASHED IT WITH A HAMMER!" (oh I love emperors new groove) The door knob came off easily and we saw that this infamous button everyone told us was actually a turning piece of metal. No miracle button. We opened the door and our two year old monster greeted us with open arms. Man oh man I hate the two stage.

Finally is the vocabulary. Nothing is safe. I have been known for telling my son too bad. Too bad Coen this and Too bad Coen that. Well I was getting after him for not listening and after his Corner failed miserably ( He just kept talking to himself) I put him on the last resort. The Kitchen Chair. He sat for a second and slid off. I responded with something along the lines of "Coen get that little butt back up there or so help me..." ( I know parent of the year right?) to which he responded " Nope mama. Too Bad." and slid off again. Now in his defence, I am still not sure if he actually was trying to be a brat from hadesville. I think he was telling me he had been too bad. (I am very optomistic that my son is not related to the devil) But regardless. I could not help but giggle and the discipline went out the window. Curses.

And that is our two year old adventures thus far! Stay tooned.

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